Yes people, it's time for me to rant again. It's been really hectic for me lately, as the dreaded cookbook came back to me again (seems like the damn book and I are inseparable) and it was just an addition to the ever increasing pile of work waiting for me. Call me paranoid, but I actually dread going to bed at nights because I feel a manuscript might jump out from under it and scream 'I found you! Let's work now!' I shudder at the very thought. Now, I'm going to try my best not to bring up the cookbook, but forgive me if I do, it has somehow made itself an extremely significant part of my existence.
As far as work goes, I have yet to see the light at the end of this dark, never-ending tunnel. Some of the projects can be fun, but the fun factor only helps to a certain extent.Quite often the fun gets into a massive battle with deadlines and rework, and before you know it, the fun factor has lost the battle. By the end of the day, I feel so brain dead, its a wonder I manage to find my way home.
A few years ago, when I was in college, I cam across the famous lines, 'What is this life if full of care, we have no time to stand and stare'. Naive as I was at that time, I never thought I wouldn't have time to stop and appreciate the better things in life. I never thought I would be this slave driven, that I would give up the freedom I so dearly cherished for a monotonous life ruled by deadlines and deliverables. When I was in college, I promised myself I would never take on a dull and boring 9 to 5 job. I somewhat kept the promise. Its a 9 to whenever you get done job that may not contain too many exciting moments and now it has become a way of life. No more exploring the streets, sitting by the seaside and watching the sunset, long walks and nights where we just stayed up and talked about irrelevant things. Staying up is not an option any longer unless you're losing sleep by stressing about work, and leisurely strolls fall under the category of wishful thinking. There's no weekend to enjoy, there's just a Sunday, the day where you rest well for the next week. No longer do I spend my Sundays at the movies, or loitering aimlessly on the streets of Colaba. Wasting hours at Cafe Leopold's is now just a memory dying to be revisited. Sitting at Marine Drive and watching the sunset as the waves lick the shore is merely wishful thinking.
Someday, I will go back to these places. Someday I will relive those happy, carefree days. Someday I will gather enough courage to forget about work and spend time doing these little things that can make a lot of difference. But for now, the pile of work grows larger by the minute, and I do not have the courage to dump it and walk out. For now, I must think of these moments as beautiful dreams and tuck them away in a little corner of my mind, allowing snippets to escape and float in front of my eyes as I tackle yet another revert and yet another meeting. Just for now.
